I've had a bit of a problematic relationship with food over the past 18 months. After getting into the gym and seeing results, somewhere along the way I got a bit lost and found myself eating minimal calories and obviously, the weight dropped off. I wouldn't touch any 'processed' food, and even reached a point where I would only eat certain brands of peanut butter - which fit girls will know is just not the way to live!
Obviously this life style wasn't sustainable, my body was tired (and I was getting quite ill), I had no spark. After six months or so, I suddenly found myself losing control, and the plot, eating everything in sight and over the months, putting all the weight back on and more. I unfollowed a lot of fitness accounts on Instagram + FB, removing myself from anything that might have caused me added ‘pressure’ to be a certain way. But the only three that I carried on following were Tally, Vicky and Zanna.
I then became cross and angry at myself for not being able to keep my healthy lifestyle up, saying to myself 'good one' when I tried to put clothes on that didn't now fit. But I had a bit of a turning point when I went to the Girl Gains event at Canary Wharf in the summer. I went by myself and was so nervous, that everyone there would be better than me, fitter than me. But not one girl there looked twice at my 'wobble', not one girl cared that I suck at push ups (not feeling sorry for myself here, I hate them and avoid them at all costs), not one girl cared that I look like a beetroot afterwards. Everyone was so lovely and despite the fact we were all there because we love healthy lifestyles, everyone piled in together and I ended up meeting some lovely people, chatting about boyfriends, travelling experiences, our jobs, and lives.
Tally, Zanna and Vicky, through their sharing and #girlgains growth, have shown me that life is about balance and you have to just chill once in a while. Whilst moving about, running, lifting and eating well are high on the priority list for girls, there are also so many other things, like enjoying yourself and spending time with your best friends and family that is far more special. I kept a lot of my food struggle internal, learning to make it seem like I was super chilled and balanced, and wasting opportunities with these people, but felt encouraged by these girls that it would get easier.
And whilst I’m not yet where I want to be in my recovery, I know in the future I can still be strong, fit and healthy, and eat Ben & Jerry’s when I want to, thanks to these guys proving you have to take life with a pinch of salt (or stevia).
